Already 12 days late, Arshi finally entered this world without giving much trouble to her mother and tears of satisfaction to her father’s eyes. The only challenge at the time of her birth was, “The name” by which she would be called. It was not that excited parents and grandparents did not do their homework on what would be the name of the new comer. They did and they did it with lots of commitment. The list of male names was endless and the list of female names ended before it started.
What does this indicate?
In earlier years of my life when I used to piss in my pants, I was often told few heart touching stories by a lady called Muniba who happened to be my mother. I was privileged to be her third child (after a girl and a boy) and the last kid. Late entry in the world helped me winning first battle in life, earning more love and affection than my counterparts. This gave me a chance to share her painful life events. I am not sure if the stories were true or fabricated. If fabricated, was it deliberately done to woo me by the women in order to win the “Best Mother award”, by her son? What if the stories were true?
I hate 10th April’1980 for this was the day grand ma started hating my mom. I hate the cause behind this; I hate Tasmim (my elder sister) for being born before Vazid ( my elder brother). I hate you God for your cruelty. Muniba was unable to fulfill demand of her mother-in- law to produce a male child. Not to tell what all atrocities she faced until she produced a male child. I love you Vazid for rescuing my mother. I love you God for being generous this time. Hatred converted into love. Muniba regained the pride and honor.
She used to thank God five times a day, for her husband earns enough to feed all her three kids. I was asked to pray five times a day to thank god for giving our family three glasses full of milk every day in the morning, one for me, one for Vazid and the extra glass for my enemy(Tasmim). Resources were enough, hence the enemy was able to survive evil eye of grand ma.
What if we had two or one glass of milk?
I often wonder just 30 years back, this was the scene. How many families would have been lucky enough to have three glasses full of milk?
Few years later Muniba occupied hospital bed. I had to face real problems of life now for she was unable to take care of me. I was not smart enough to hold spoon and wash my bottom every morning. The enemy used to hold my hand and push me into the toilet and also made sure that my bottom is cleaned perfectly. She used to insert one spoon of food into my mouth and another into hers. And this continued till the lady got up from hospital bed. I used to wonder why grand ma hates Muniba for producing my enemy. The Enemy is not bad, she replaced mom for few days, thank you god for giving me second mom. Enemy became friend.
29 years later once again there was a moment when our family needed expansion and the responsibility lies on Vazid and his wife. Muniba has to become grand maa now. I was apprehensive if she will repeat what was done to her on producing my second mom. Resources are more than enough, which gave me confidence of history not repeating itself.
I and mom used to discuss everyday if she wanted a male or a female child. She always used to say, “Gender does not matter, what matters is child should be healthy”. Well said, mom. The reply was never acceptable to me because of my suspicious nature. I related her words with the fact that resources are more than enough and nothing can be done once the child is out, so you are not left with an option.
I am happy that she is loving the kid without discrimination and her behavior with her daughter-in-law has not changed even after delivering a baby girl.
But mom, why was the list of boy’s name much longer than girl’s name?
I see that, mom is happy with girl child but would have been happier if it was a boy.
Will a day come when both the lists will carry equal number of names?
If yes, how many more years do we need?
What does this indicate?
In earlier years of my life when I used to piss in my pants, I was often told few heart touching stories by a lady called Muniba who happened to be my mother. I was privileged to be her third child (after a girl and a boy) and the last kid. Late entry in the world helped me winning first battle in life, earning more love and affection than my counterparts. This gave me a chance to share her painful life events. I am not sure if the stories were true or fabricated. If fabricated, was it deliberately done to woo me by the women in order to win the “Best Mother award”, by her son? What if the stories were true?
I hate 10th April’1980 for this was the day grand ma started hating my mom. I hate the cause behind this; I hate Tasmim (my elder sister) for being born before Vazid ( my elder brother). I hate you God for your cruelty. Muniba was unable to fulfill demand of her mother-in- law to produce a male child. Not to tell what all atrocities she faced until she produced a male child. I love you Vazid for rescuing my mother. I love you God for being generous this time. Hatred converted into love. Muniba regained the pride and honor.
She used to thank God five times a day, for her husband earns enough to feed all her three kids. I was asked to pray five times a day to thank god for giving our family three glasses full of milk every day in the morning, one for me, one for Vazid and the extra glass for my enemy(Tasmim). Resources were enough, hence the enemy was able to survive evil eye of grand ma.
What if we had two or one glass of milk?
I often wonder just 30 years back, this was the scene. How many families would have been lucky enough to have three glasses full of milk?
Few years later Muniba occupied hospital bed. I had to face real problems of life now for she was unable to take care of me. I was not smart enough to hold spoon and wash my bottom every morning. The enemy used to hold my hand and push me into the toilet and also made sure that my bottom is cleaned perfectly. She used to insert one spoon of food into my mouth and another into hers. And this continued till the lady got up from hospital bed. I used to wonder why grand ma hates Muniba for producing my enemy. The Enemy is not bad, she replaced mom for few days, thank you god for giving me second mom. Enemy became friend.
29 years later once again there was a moment when our family needed expansion and the responsibility lies on Vazid and his wife. Muniba has to become grand maa now. I was apprehensive if she will repeat what was done to her on producing my second mom. Resources are more than enough, which gave me confidence of history not repeating itself.
I and mom used to discuss everyday if she wanted a male or a female child. She always used to say, “Gender does not matter, what matters is child should be healthy”. Well said, mom. The reply was never acceptable to me because of my suspicious nature. I related her words with the fact that resources are more than enough and nothing can be done once the child is out, so you are not left with an option.
I am happy that she is loving the kid without discrimination and her behavior with her daughter-in-law has not changed even after delivering a baby girl.
But mom, why was the list of boy’s name much longer than girl’s name?
I see that, mom is happy with girl child but would have been happier if it was a boy.
Will a day come when both the lists will carry equal number of names?
If yes, how many more years do we need?
