........Until 14th April

All my life I've been harassed.........Harassed day in and day out.........Harassed for no reason, all four season..........Harassed for doing and not doing as well.

Man fools himself, more than he fools others.
Is it?
Yes... I repeat.... Man fools himself, more than he fools others.

This very line summarizes why I was harassed.
No...No...No...
Not "why" I was harassed but "How" I was harassed.

I kept on fooling my own self for all the gone years, since time memorial.
The most intriguing question of childhood times is…

“What do you want to become in life?”

To my surprise and wondering, each kid had an answer to this toughest question of all times. The question remains unchanged until a child transforms into an adult i.e. passing/failing tenth class exams.

I lately was informed that the question was a multiple choices, and the choices are:
A) Doctor
B) Engineer
C) Prime Minister/President
D) Teacher
E) Sportsperson
F) Army/Police Personnel

Instructions:
1) The Question and choices remains unchanged irrespective of the class you are studying in.
2) You are bound to answer.
3) If you have no answer you are shit and subject of humiliation.

With due respect sir/ma’am I accept being shit, since I have no answer.
This question on the very first day of each standard made me pseudo patient. Just to avoid the question and being shit again, I would lay my head down on the table pretending too ill to be disturbed for a repetitive question.

I escaped the question 27 years (to be honest) fooling everyone and myself as well….but what remains unchanged is …I still remains shit…… without answer to the question.

I was damn sure that none of my counterparts then had the real answer to the question but still they answered it….simply not to choose being shit. The point is they had an answer. No matter the answer changed every year. But they still had an answer.

The lady whom I admire most after momy was Geetanjali Joshi, whom we used to call her Joshi ma’am, an excellent Science and English teacher. I remember, she asked me the same question and I was again answerless. But when Joshi Ma’am asks a question you cannot choose not to answer, you cannot pretend to be ill, wet your pant she doesn't bother, you have to answer.

I could not answer the question even after allotted time. Head was down with the shame; a tear rolling inside eyelids refusing to drop down, such was the horror of Joshi Ma’am. The devil approached; my heart stopped pumping.... paralyzing me to unconsciousness. She raised her hand to its limit and landed on my head…softly.... to my surprise. Just like moms hand on my head lulls me to sleep.

Words of wisdom poured in from the mouth of devil, “Beta I am not seeking for the answer. What I want from all of you is to think about your future and start making decisions. No answer is correct and no answer is wrong. You are in such a tender age that you can change your answer every day till the final call comes. Have aim.”

Hand lifted up from the head and rested back in the pocket of her overcoat. Tears came rolling down happily. I escaped once again. I remember her words by heart, but never thought off to decipher the meaning. That’s precisely the reason I am still aimless. I am still to find the answer. How long will it take, again I don’t have an answer.

Harassment Continued.... Until 14th April, the day I joined EDULEVER.

You say I am feeling low today

"Remember when you failed an examination. How many people recall that, your class, friends, relatives? You failed to make it to the IITs or IIMs. Who remembers. How many times have you had the feeling of being the best in your class, school , university, state….., you failed to get a visa stamped this quarter…, you missed a promotion this year…, how did it feel when you dad told you in your early twenties that you are good for nothing…..and now your boss tell you the same... You keep introspecting and go into a shell when people most of whom don’t matter a dime in your life criticize you, back bite you, make fun of you. You are left sad and shattered and you cry when your own kin scoffs at you. You say I am feeling low today. It takes a lot from us to come out of these everyday situations and move on. A lot??? really? Now here’s a man standing on the third man boundary in the last over of a world cup match. The bowler just has to bowl sensibly to win this game. What the man at the boundary sees is 4 rank bad bowls bowled without any sense of focus, planning or regret. India loses, yet again in those circumstances when he has done just about everything right. He does not cry. Does not show any emotion. Just keeps his head down and leaves the field. He has seen these failures for 22 years now. And not just his class, relatives, friends but the whole world has seen these failures. We are too immature to even imagine what goes on in that mind and heart of his. That’s why I would never want to be Sachin. True, he has single handedly lifted to moods of this entire nation umpteen number of times. He has been an inspiration to rise above our mediocrity. Nobody who has ever lifted the willow even comes close to this man’s genius. His dedication and metal strength is unparallel. This is specially for those people who would have made fun of him again last night when India lost. They are people who are mediocre in their own lives. Who just scoff at others to create cheap fun. Who have lived in a small hole throughout their lives and thought they have seen the oceans. Think about the man himself. He is 37 years of age. He has been playing almost non stop for 22 years. The way he was running and diving around the field last night would have put 22 year olds to shame. The way he played the best opening quickies in the world was breathtaking. He just keeps getting better which is by the way humanly impossible. Its not for nothing that people call him GOD. But still I don’t want to be in those shoes. We struggle in keeping our monotonous lives straight, lives which affect a limited number of people. Imagine what would be the magnitude of the inner struggle for him, pain both mental and physical, tears that have frozen with time, knees and ankles and every other joint in the body that is either bandaged or needs to be attended to every night, eyes that don’t sleep before a big game, bats that have scored 99 international tons and still see expectations from a billion people. And he just converts those expectations into reality. We watch in awe, feel privileged. Well I think its time that his team realizes that enough is enough. They have an obligation, not towards their country alone but towards sachin. They need to win this one for him. Stay assured that he himself will still deliver and leave no stone unturned to make sure India wins this cup. This is not just a game, and he is not just a sportsman. Its much more than this. Words fail here..."
-Harsha Bhogle